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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

When you see me in the grocery store dont assume I have a bad kid b/c he is on the floor screaming. Be informed that all kids are different!

I would like to take some time and tell you about something not a lot of people understand about or care to learn about.



AUTISM



most people assume that autism only displays it self in one way. In the beautiful children who are locked with in themselves, who do not communicate verbally in anyway. They rock back and forth and flick their fingers in odd ways and spin a lot. YES, that is autism might look like from the outside. When you have the most stressful day of your life and you just want to scream or cry or punch something then you understand. EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY! It is that hard to live in this world of bright lights and loud noises and odd sensations for these amazing people who spend all day every day just trying to COPE.

Autism is a spectrum and comes in all varieties. Children who are completely locked in side their selves and who are for the most part very complacent. Children who are seen as socially unacceptable b/c they can not interact appropriately. However these children sometimes have exceptional verbal skills. Children who obsess over one certain thing (and no matter how much you try to talk to them Dinosaurs is all they talk about). Sometimes these children CAN NOT be rationalized with through any measure. The world to children with autism is extraordinarily over whelming. They everday sights and sounds and smells we enjoy are not processed in the same way to a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Everyday when I wake Wes, up I hold my breath.
I never know if I will be greeted by a happy 6 year old or an angry bear.
Step 2: The next hurdle will be breakfast. It may not be a good day to ask him if he is hungry! ( Sometimes if we are already having a bad day by 20 min in I just skip
step 3 :which is teeth brushing. It is a very stimulating thing and HATES it!
Step 4: Get dressed (oh this ones a doozie) No tags on his skin, pull on shorts or pants, sock lines must be perfect and heaven help all of us if he doesnt feel like wearing underwear.
(i personally dont believe these are optional, however PICK YOU BATTLES)!
Step 5: now days it is time for school. Here's to hoping when I pull through the line he gets out. If not I will circle around again and maybe! Now will he stay or will he chase me?
Step 6: Go home and pray they don't have to call and say"mrs. wilson, your son is outside of the building refusing to come back in and if we run towardds him he will run to the road. Can you come?" or "mrs. wilson, I dont think Wes is gonna be able to stay today, he just cant settle it."

MY FAVORITE WAY TO EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE A
DIFFERNTLY ABLED CHILD

story from Chicken soup for the mothers soul.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

i am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disabilty- to try to help people who have not shared this unique expereince understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

When your having a baby it is like planning a fabulous vacation trip-to ITALY. You buy a bunch of books and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum, The Michaelangelo David. The gondalas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. IT is ALL very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands and the Stewardess comes out and says," WELCOME TO HOLLAND! "

"Hollland?!" you say. "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy"

There has been a change in the flight plan and they have landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is they havn't taken you to a horrible place or a disgusting place, full of pestilence and disease. It is just a different place.

So now you must buy new guide books. And you must learn a new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people who you would have never met. It is just a different place. It is slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after a while you catch your breath and you look around........and begin to notice that Holland has windmills ......and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy......and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they have there. And for the rest of your life you will say "yes, that is where I was supposed to go. That is what i planned"

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away ......because the loss of that dream is VERY signifigant loss.

But...............if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didnt go to Italy you will never be free to enjoy the very special, very lovely things .......about Holland.

emily perl kigsley

I am grateful everyday that Wesley is "High Functioning" he can talk to me now and he can tell me he loves me and he plays with his siters and I don't want or expect anything more from him than what he can give me that day!











*this link is to a 13 min video profiling families of children with autism. I am in no way saying my lson is that severe but we worry about the same things day in and day out. Their safety and their future. AND A CURE!


http://www.autismspeaks.org/sponsoredevents/autism_every_day.php

3 comments:

Traci said...

That first description was the only children I knew with autism as late as the 90's. I wish to heck that someone would figure out what caused all of these precious children to have autism.
I bet he would like to come see the ponies.

Shyla said...

You are an amazing mother, and I am privileged to call you my friend. We had such a nice time last week, I hope we can do it again soon! All of your children are sweet, but I wanted to especially let you know that Wes was so well mannered and respectful, so sweet, and our kids had a great time with him. Ethan said, "I made a new friend!" :o)

And thanks for offering to come out so far to help me, I'm good, just one of those weeks :o)

Anonymous said...

People should read this.